


slipped away (into a moment in time)

by dahyunayeon



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, High School AU, Lovers to Friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:01:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26918509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dahyunayeon/pseuds/dahyunayeon
Summary: “Did you find out what it is you wanted?”It feels like a jab at her. Sana holds no malice in her heart but Nayeon can’t help but feel like it’s meant to hurt her.“No, I haven’t.”
Relationships: Im Nayeon/Minatozaki Sana
Comments: 6
Kudos: 113
Collections: You Are My Dream





	slipped away (into a moment in time)

**Author's Note:**

> written for #TFG Vol2, @tfgazette on twt. the promt i chose was "dream"
> 
> songs for the fic:  
> troye sivan - in a dream  
> taylor swift - august

Nayeon picks at her cuticles under the table, her leg bounces up and down and if the picnic bench wasn’t made of cement, it probably would be shaking along with her body. Luckily no one around her seems to notice, her distress getting lost in between all the conversations going on simultaneously.

The park is crowded, but Jihyo managed to get them all a good spot under the shade of a tree. Scattered around the concrete table are paper cups with lukewarm soda, half eaten sandwiches and crumpled bags of chips. Nayeon picks up a cup and takes a sip, just to do something with her hands and stop hurting her fingers, but she cringes when she tastes the soda.

“There’s another bottle on the cooler,” Dahyun tells her, quiet amongst the rest of the loud voices of their friends. Nayeon nods at her in acknowledgment, but doesn’t reach for the fresh bottle. She’s been saving it for someone who should’ve arrived about an hour ago, but is unsurprisingly late. 

As if Nayeon had beckoned her with her mind, Minatozaki Sana arrives welcomed by a choir of high pitched, excited squeaks from everyone in the table— except Nayeon. 

Sana skips on her way to the table, making her high ponytail bounce from side to side. Everyone stands up to greet her, hugging her tightly despite how sticky with sweat everyone is. Nayeon lingers behind, picking her cuticles again. 

When it’s her turn to hug Sana, Nayeon tries to gulp down her nerves and show a genuine smile. It comes out as awkward and forced. But Sana’s is dripping with honest excitement and glee, and she brings Nayeon close by pulling at her shoulders, then wraps her arms around her waist. The tips of Nayeon’s hair tickles Sana’s hands, and she giggles right next to Nayeon’s ear. 

But she breaks the hug without saying a word, and moves to sit down across Nayeon, squished between Dahyun and Chaeyoung. Dahyun gets the fresh soda from the cooler and pours Sana a cup. She’s soon pulled into the loud conversation, and she doesn’t look at Nayeon for the rest of the evening. 

«

Nayeon and Sana are sitting side by side on a low wall. Jeongyeon and Jihyo are sitting on the floor in front of them, and Momo leans against a tree. Gym class ended a few hours ago and they bought popsicles to eat while they wait for Momo’s mom to pick her up.

Their thighs are pressed together, and they’re holding hands behind their bodies. Nayeon turns to look at Sana with a smirk, fluttering her eyelashes. Sana smiles as she takes a bite out of her bright blue popsicle, then licks her lips to get rid of the stickiness. She offers the treat to Nayeon, and Nayeon wraps her hand around Sana’s to bring it closer to her mouth. She takes a bite while holding eye contact, and then lets go.. 

“Could you two please wait until we’re not here, it’s a bit disgusting.” Momo whines, face contorted in not-so-faux disgust at her friends’ antics. 

“We’re not doing anything.” Sana rolls her eyes, swinging her feet and hitting her sneaker-covered heels against the wall. 

Momo’s mom arrives and she offers to give them all a ride. Jeongyeon and Jihyo accept, eager to get in the car with the air conditioner instead of walking in the heat of a spring day at 4 p.m. Sana and Nayeon decline with a polite smile, though, and Jeongyeon fake gags as a goodbye. 

They walk to Nayeon’s house, head upstairs, and Sana presses sweet sticky kisses to Nayeon’s cheeks and lips on her bed, with the windows open and a fan oscillating to try and help relieve the high temperature of the room.

»

Nayeon groggily wakes up, struggles to open her eyes and pushes herself to a sitting position using her arms. Her left leg fell asleep and now uncomfortable tingles run from her toes up to her knee. The back of her neck and her forehead are wet with sweat, making her hair cling to her skin.

Once she finally gets her leg back to normal, Nayeon slouches and soaks in the tranquillity of the night. There’s crickets outside her room, and the fan makes a clicking sound every time it switches directions. 

Nayeon rubs her face roughly and groans, then falls back on the bed, accidentally hitting her head with the headboard. She curses under her breath and melts against the warm sheets.  _ What a stupid dream _ . She feels annoyed, because she’s been doing well for the past three months, but now Sana is back into her life and she’s found a way to sneak old memories into Nayeon’s dreams. 

(She knows it’s silly and totally irrational to blame Sana— it’s not even true, she could never blame her for anything —but for now she pretends it’s her fault, just to have some peace of mind).

She reaches for her phone and squints when the bright light hits her eyes. The clock reads 05:09 a.m. She has an instagram notification:  _ sanasana tagged you in a post _ . 

The picture was posted a few hours ago, right after Nayeon went to sleep. Sana is not even in the picture, instead, Nayeon is in the forefront, resting her chin on her hand and looking at the rest of the girls with a small smile. Everyone else is in the picture, unaware that it was being taken— except Dahyun, who’s smiling directly at the camera and doing a peace sign. 

_ Feels so good to be back with my friends ~<3 I missed you! ( ˘ ³˘)❤ _

(Nayeon double taps it, comments a single red heart, and pretends she’s the only one being addressed in that last bit of the caption).

For the past three months, Nayeon did a great job avoiding the temptation of clicking Sana’s profile and scrolling through all of her posts. Sometimes she saw them when she opened the app, but she immediately scrolled down. It makes no sense to do that now, though, because their senior year starts next week and they’ll be back to seeing each other daily. 

In the darkness of her room, Nayeon indulges herself and clicks on her username.

Sana’s feed could probably be used by a tourism agency to advertise Japan. It’s picture after picture of beaches, bright green plains full of colorful flowers, fruity drinks and selfies with the sunset. 

Sana didn’t delete her pictures with Nayeon. Nayeon deleted hers. 

Under all the summer pictures, there’s one of Sana and Nayeon together at a party. Sana is half on Nayeon’s lap, and Nayeon has her cheek pressed against Sana’s shoulder, pink cheeks and a big smile. Sana is laughing, looking away from the camera, and her face is a bit blurry. 

_ I love you _ , reads the caption. Nayeon bites her lip to avoid sighing. She pinches the photo to zoom in, seeing how Sana’s hand was twirling Nayeon’s hair and how Nayeon’s hands were holding both a paper cup and Sana’s waist securely. 

When she zooms out, she accidentally double taps. 

Nayeon’s droopy eyes open wide and she accidentally bites her tongue. “ _ Fucking—”  _ She fumbles with the phone and it slips from her hands, but she manages to remove the heart and lock the phone, then tosses it to the bed side table. She covers her mouth and stays still in the bed, as if her phone was about to ring with an incoming call from Sana to ask why the hell was she stalking her late into the night.

Nothing happens, of course. Nayeon kicks the sheets away from her and keeps cursing under her breath until she falls asleep. 

»

It rains on the first day of class. Nayeon watches the water flow down the dirty window of the classroom while the teacher goes on about complicated equations. 

She hasn’t seen Sana since the day at the park, and she’s dreading the moment she sees her again. Not because she doesn’t want to see her— well, it’s complicated, she doesn’t know what she wants —but the main issue is whether or not Sana will mention something about the instagram incident. She’s not even sure if Sana noticed, maybe Nayeon got lucky and the like was lost among other many notifications. But the fear is still there. 

It’s been three months and Nayeon thought she was ready to confront Sana, but she couldn’t have been more wrong. It was easy to make up scenarios in her head before sleeping and practice conversations alone in the shower. But seeing Sana again, hearing her laugh and seeing the way her nose scrunches when she smiles— it made Nayeon short circuit.

The moment of truth is two hours later, when classes are done and they all meet in the hallway. 

Nayeon drags her feet on the floor, making her shoes squeak. Jeongyeon looped their arms together when they left their last class and she’s dragging her towards Momo, Jihyo and Sana. 

Sana waves at them and her eyes linger on Nayeon briefly. Her eyes are kind, though, as they always are, and the lack of a teasing smirk makes Nayeon think she’s safe. 

They all walk together to the exit and everyone pulls out an umbrella— except Nayeon. 

Standing at the end of the roof, Nayeon outstretches her hand and lets the cold rain fall on her open palm. The rain isn’t too strong, but she surely won’t make it home dry. 

Someone tugs her sleeve and breaks the distracted haze Nayeon was in. 

Sana smiles shyly— shy looks weird on her. Behind her, the rest of their friends wave at her as they leave, shouting something about having to be home soon. But with Sana’s back turned to them, they wink and make kissy faces that make Nayeon roll her eyes. 

“Let me walk you home,” Sana reaches out to hold Nayeon’s wrist and pull her along. Nayeon complies, not putting any resistance and letting Sana do whatever she wants. Once she’s under the umbrella, though, Sana lets go of her. 

Their shoulders brush together and they stumble often trying to not step on each other. The umbrella is small, and Nayeon can tell Sana is tilting it so it covers Nayeon better. 

They stop as a streetlight, standing away from the street to avoid getting splashed. Nayeon steals glances at Sana, admiring her perfect side profile and her brown eyes, the way her pretty pink lips curl into a smile .

“You’re awfully quiet.” Sana comments, smirking when she catches Nayeon staring.

“I don’t have anything to say,” It comes out more defensive than Nayeon intended, and it makes Sana chuckle. 

“We both know that’s a lie, Nayeonnie. Come on, something must have happened since July that you haven’t told me.”

_That I missed you_. _I waited everyday for you to call and you never did. I tried to call, but I didn’t, either._ _I never texted, and neither did you._

“Nothing happened. My summer was very uneventful.”

“Did you find out what it is you wanted?”

It feels like a jab at her. Sana holds no malice in her heart but Nayeon can’t help but feel like it’s meant to hurt her. 

The lights turn green and they cross the street. 

“No, I haven’t.”

«

The lights turn green but they don’t cross the street. 

“Yeah, I have.”

In a move straight out of a movie, Nayeon grabs Sana’s waist and pulls them together, until they’re chest to chest and they can feel each others’ breaths on their mouths. Nayeon kisses Sana and her fingers dig into her waist. Sana’s lips are cold, and a rumbling sound comes from the distance. She feels Sana pull away.

Nayeon opens her eyes and she’s not in the street anymore, but in Sana’s bedroom.

The air conditioner whirs and Nayeon stares confused at the strips of colorful paper Sana attached to the grill.

Sana is sitting next to her closet with an open suitcase in front of her. She holds up two shirts, a striped yellow one and a light blue one with fringes, pouting cutely as she decides which one to pack. 

“Nayeonnie?” Sana calls for her. Nayeon feels too disoriented even if Sana’s room is a place she’s been in many times.

“What?”

“What shirt should I take?” 

“Uh, the yellow one,” It looks best on Sana. It’ll look even better when she inevitably gets tanned. 

“Thank you,” Sana sing-songs, then folds the shirt carefully and tucks it between the rest of her clothes. She gets up after that and walks towards Nayeon, leans down and kisses her. “I’ll be right back.”

Sana leaves and the door is slammed shut, the sound reverberates in Nayeon’s head. Suddenly Nayeon is in her own room. There’s no air conditioner, and she feels like the walls are closing in on her. There’s no sunshine streaming from the open window, it’s dark outside, and thunder rumbles in the distance. Her phone is her hands, the screen is the only thing illuminating the room. 

“ _ We should take a break. _ ”

Nayeon sent the text at 4 a.m, when she thought Sana would be asleep, but she got a reply less than a minute later. 

“ _ Did I do something wrong? _ ”

The words appear on the chat without Nayeon touching the screen, and when she tries to stop them, it doesn’t work.

“ _ We’re gonna be separated for three months, I don’t know— who knows what’ll happen in a week, in a month. I don’t know what I want. _ ” 

It’s a lie, but Sana doesn’t know that. Nayeon knows exactly what she wants. She wants Sana, she wants her to stay with her in South Korea and spend the summer with her, swimming in her pool, sunbathing in her backyard, going on night walks and holding hands as they fall asleep on the cool grass of the park. 

But alas, Sana is in Japan, and she’ll be gone the whole summer. And Nayeon is terrified that Sana will be the one to realize that she  _ doesn’t want Nayeon. _ She’s a sea away, on a beach with her old friends and maybe she’ll realize that she and Nayeon don’t work, or that she simply doesn’t want to be with her anymore. She’ll start to notice all the things Nayeon dislikes about herself, and she’ll dislike them too.

Nayeon thinks she’s saving herself the future heartbreak, which to her is only a matter of time. 

A chat bubble pops up, and it types, types, types, but nothing is sent. The phone fades like a drop of ink in a glass of water, and Nayeon desperately tries to hold onto it, but she grasps at thin air.

»

There are tears in Nayeon’s eyes when she wakes up. She jolts up and sobs into her fists, feeling short of breath. The sky is purple outside, it’s 6 a.m and she has class in an hour.

She drags her feet all the way to school. She barely fixed her hair and she has dark circles under her eyes— Jihyo makes sure to point it out when she arrives. Nayeon offers a grimace and a shrug as an explanation, and Jihyo knows not to say anything else. 

Nayeon doesn’t pay attention in any of her classes, instead she doodles on the margins of her pages and on the back of her hand. 

They all gather during recess and in between juice boxes and chocolate wrappers, Nayeon can’t get rid of the scowl on her face. They’re sitting on the floor in a circle, like they always do. Sana has an arm around Dahyun’s shoulders, and she’s twirling her hair and laughing at everything Dahyun says. 

Jeongyeon nudges her thigh with her shoe to get her attention, and they have a silent conversation using only their eyes and their eyebrows.

_ “What’s wrong?”  _

_ “Nothing is.” _

_ “Stop looking at her like that, weirdo.” _

_ “Mind your business.” _

_ “Talk to her.” _

_ “There’s nothing to talk about.” _

“Sana,” Jeongyeon says out loud, cutting Dahyun mid joke. “Nayeon has something she wants to tell you.” 

Everyone shuts up and all eyes turn to look at Nayeon. She licks her lips and tells Jeongyeon  _ I’ll fucking kill you  _ with her eyes. Sana is looking at her expectantly, and Nayeon makes a mental note to actually kill Jeongyeon if she ever has the chance. 

“Can I, uh, borrow your english homework?” 

Sana’s airy giggle breaks the tension that formed around them, and everyone goes back to chatting while Sana stands up, dusts her skirt, and motions for Nayeon to follow her to the classroom. Nayeon makes sure to kick Jeongyeon’s leg when she gets up. 

There’s no one in the classroom except for them. Sana closes the door behind them and Nayeon tries not to think too much of it. Memories flash in her head of the few times they were in the same situation, when they sneaked out of gym class to find an empty classroom to kiss. But Sana isn’t even near her, she goes straight to her desk and starts looking for the homework in her bag.

“Next time just ask me directly, silly. You know I don’t mind.” Sana hands her the papers— all neatly held by a binder clip and decorated with animal stickers. 

“Thanks,” Nayeon takes a quick glance at the first page and spots three mistakes right away. She should’ve thought of a better excuse, she was the one who always helped Sana with english class. 

“Nayeon,” Sana looks nervous, which is unsettling, because it’s weird to see her like that. She bites her lips and fiddles with her hands in front of her skirt. Nayeon tries her best to put on an understanding smile, anything that will ease Sana’s nerves and let her know it’s okay to say whatever it is she has to say. Sana hesitates. “We’re still friends, right?”

It has never hurt so much to put on a fake smile. “Of course we are.” Nayeon nods. Sana sighs, smiles, then leaves the classroom without waiting for Nayeon.

«

Sana can’t sleep. It’s almost 4 a.m and she’s been watching cat videos on youtube for the past two hours. 

She texted Nayeon when she landed, she sent a selfie in the car on her way to her parents’ beach house. She got a very dry response, a simple smiley emoji and a heart. Sana didn’t think much of it, maybe Nayeon was busy at the time. 

Just then a text notification pops up and Sana immediately smiles when she sees Nayeon’s contact name. The very next second, her heart drops.

“ _ We should take a break. _ ”

Sana stares at the screen and reads the text over five times. She doesn’t understand, so she types the only thing that’s on her mind.

“ _ Did I do something wrong? _ ” 

“ _ We’re gonna be separated for three months, I don’t know— who knows what’ll happen in a week, in a month. I don’t know what I want. _ ”

It feels like a slap to the face. Sana locks her phone and lets it fall— she doesn’t know or care where.

She cries into her pillow, eyes burning with hot tears. Her sobs get lost in the crashing waves hitting near the house. 

Two hours later, the sun rises, and Sana is laying in her bed staring at the wall in front of her. Her eyes are red and her throat is sore.

She loves Nayeon. A lot. And what hurts the most is that she  _ knows  _ Nayeon loves her too, but right now, she doesn’t want to be with Sana. 

If Nayeon wants space, then Sana will give it to her. She’ll cry until the sun is high in the sky. Then, she’ll wipe her tears, and she’ll pretend everything is okay. She’ll go on with her life, and try to enjoy her summer. She won’t text, she won’t call, and when she sees her again, she’ll act as if nothing happened, as if they’re the same girls who used to share a bed when they were ten and try to count the stars. 

She’ll wait for Nayeon to figure herself out.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading :)


End file.
